I'm going to be Santa.
Yeah...you read it right, Santa...big ol' fat and jolly Santa.
Although being short and underweight I may have to get rid of the whole fat and jolly vibe...I was thinking I could be a more modern, exciting Santa...maybe with the tagline:
'He'll deliver your presents and kill anyone who gets in his way!'
The massive coat will have to go. I'm seeing maybe a vest? Camouflage? White camouflage to go with the snow? As for the whole affiliation with Coca Cola..well that's pointless, I'll get a sponsorship with some sort of alcohol at least. I've got to make Santa cool again.
The sleigh can go. Who needs it when you've got the SANTA-COPTER.
Admittedly I'm not happy with the name 'santa-copter' but we can iron that out later. Just picture the scene, a small child is excited, unable to sleep waiting for christmas morning...but what's that noise? Is that...it must be...the unmistakable sound of the Santa-copter! With the man himself leaning out of the open door as it roars through what was a silent night.
As for the elves, well it's no wonder the old Santa had trouble keeping kids off the naughty list, happy little workshop helpers? Pointless. I'm going to train those elves to be cut-throat warriors.
This is brilliant...now which way to the north pole?
*Begins walking south*
Thank you
Iain jb
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